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March 26, 2009

I think I have somehow morphed into my mother.  In fact, I’m pretty sure I was visited by one of the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers in the middle of the night, and transformed while I slept. Hey, it’s a valid theory in a house with 3 growing boys.  Valid theory notwithstanding, all I know for sure is, my hormones are all over the place, and things that never used to bother me, are now a HUGE annoyance.  Like my husband’s breathing, for instance.

Me:  “Do you have to do that around me?!”

StudMuffin:  “Do what?”

Me:  “Breathing… You’re breathing too loud!”

StudMuffin:  “I’m breathing too loud?”

Me:  “Yes, and why do you always have to answer my question with a question?  Can’t you ever just answer my question without asking a question first?!”

StudMuffin:  “Ummm… okay?  What was the question again?”

Me:  “Aaaarrrrgghhh!!!”

Do you see what I’m talking about?  Do you see the kind of insanity my poor family has to deal with on a semi-regular basis?  My heart really and truly goes out to them… on most days.

I remember one time when I was a teenager, my mom came into my room to tell me that she had finally figured out what was wrong with her.  I was relieved to hear it.  Not only because I was worried she was losing her marbles, but because I thought to myself, “If she knows what’s wrong with her, then there must be a cure!”  Silly, optimistic teenager.  It was then I learned that the woman’s curse didn’t just begin and end with a monthly period and pushing an 8 lb. baby out of your vagina.  Oh no!  There was more joy to be found in this mysterious right-of-passage dubbed “womanhood.”  Come to find out, us lucky gals get a shot at losing our minds before we die, too!

So, what was the name of this strange malady that had taken possession of my mother’s body?  Menopause.  Such a tame little word for what actually takes place in your body, because what you are feeling is anything but tame.  My mom called it, “goin’ through the change.”  I like this definition a lot more.  It puts me in mind of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Two-Face– the psychotic arch nemesis of Batman, yin and yang, and… well, you get the idea.  So what’s a 30-something woman in the beginning stages of menopause to do?  I’m not sure, but we’ll get back to you as soon as we figure it out!

Until next time…


P.S.  What is up with the quotation marks on WordPress?!  Does no one care about proper punctuation anymore?  Sorry.  Minor menopausal moment.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. secretg permalink
    March 27, 2009 5:29 am

    hey. look at that. i’m all logged in and can comment.

    Now. Are you serious? About the beginning stages of menopause? You’re kidding, right? Inquiring minds want to know.

    And yeah…come on WordPress…get the quotation marks going in the right directions. ;o)

  2. michellenotwithstanding permalink*
    March 27, 2009 3:28 pm

    Dear Inquiring Mind,

    Re: the beginning stages of menopause. Yeah. I’m serious. My mom started in her 30’s and so did my mom’s mom. I’m thinking it’s genetic. Lucky me. But, on the bright side, you logged into my blog, and I’m feeling pretty special. You rock s.g.!

  3. Sarah Awu permalink
    July 7, 2009 1:04 pm

    That was funny! Thanks for the laugh at 11pm at night. I know, it’s from March, but I just read it.

    I can actually hear your’s and Rick’s inflections in your voices and see your faces (that is when I read the conversation).

    Trusting you will all survive the “change.”

    Sarah Awu

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